Series: Why I...
Volume: 3/3Publisher: Self-Published
Genre/s: Contemporary gay romance
Length: -
Read in: English
Review copy format: epub
Rate:✮✮✮✮✮✬
What a man who seemingly has everything could want? Martin is handsome, intelligent, generously "equipped" by nature and rich enough that if not for boredom, he wouldn't have to work at all. The problem is that all of his relationships end very quickly because every man he dates is more interested in his bank account than in him. After another breakup, Martin decides to stop dating and instead wants to focus on a game he wish to create. However, in order to put his ideas into practice, he needs an artist whose talent would truly touch his heart. When finally someone just perfect responds to his advert, he is more than happy. But there's one thing Martin didn't predict – that he might so quickly fall for someone he has never seen before.
Ryan is a talented American freelance artist who doesn't even realize the impact his art has on others. For years, being in a toxic relationship with a man who not only dominates every area of his life, but who also often resorts to violence, Ryan has no possibility to spread his wings. And yet, day by day, he is slowly approaching his goal of escaping and finally breaking free from his violent, impulsive partner. When he decides to work on a game of some charismatic Englishman, he doesn't even suspect that at some point the long distance friendship could turn into something completely different.
Ryan is a talented American freelance artist who doesn't even realize the impact his art has on others. For years, being in a toxic relationship with a man who not only dominates every area of his life, but who also often resorts to violence, Ryan has no possibility to spread his wings. And yet, day by day, he is slowly approaching his goal of escaping and finally breaking free from his violent, impulsive partner. When he decides to work on a game of some charismatic Englishman, he doesn't even suspect that at some point the long distance friendship could turn into something completely different.
"Why I Trust You" is the third volume of "Why I…" series and another novel full of advantages. This time the topic of domestic violence, which is touched in this story, comes to the fore. I find it extremely important, because such problems should be discussed, people should be sensitized to them and it's essential to show, even if only through fiction, to those who struggle with violence that they are not alone. It is worth noting that the thing which for some people is only a figment of someone's imagination, for others might turn out to be a factor that restores hope, encourages them to do something, to seek help. That's why even more important seems to me that "Why I Trust You" shows that it really is possible to break free from a toxic relationship. It requires enormous courage and often help from someone from the "outside", but it is possible, if only this most important step is taken. At this point, I must also mention that in her novel Colette Davison in a really excellent, vivid, realistic and full of understanding manner presented the problem of the impact of domestic violence on man and his psyche. Thanks to this, we can see that in "Why I Trust You" the author approaches this topic very seriously and wants the reader to get the most out of this story.
The great advantage of the novel is also Ryan. I must admit that Colette Davison created a character who, from the very first moment he appeared in "Why I Trust You", made me fall in love with him completely. Let's start with the fact that the drama that Ryan goes through could successfully break him long ago, completely clip his wings and deprive him of all strength to fight. And to some extent that's what happened, but yet Ryan managed to grab this tiny spark of hope that twinkled right in front of him and used it to his advantage. In this way he showed that he is an extremely strong and really brave character, and this really deserves our admiration and appreciation. I admit that I'm a huge fan of characters who, despite their traumatic experiences, can stand on their own feet, take a step towards the light and don't passively wait for some help from the outside world. Ryan is like a fairy-tale princess, locked in a tower by an evil wizard, restrained by black magic – in this case by herself, her psyche, Battered Person Syndrome. However, unlike the princesses from classic fairy tales, Ryan doesn't wait for a prince who would help him escape. He decides to get out of the tower by himself. Only when something goes wrong and he starts to fall, the said prince, who is passing by the tower, catches him. I will add that the traumatic experiences didn't deprive Ryan of his internal cuteness, which also gained him my recognition and undying love.
But let's look at Ryan's problem from the other angle, from Martin's angle, and hence the "outsider"'s who wants to help. I think that also in this respect the author did a great job, as she managed to present Martin's approach to Ryan's traumatic experiences in a very natural way. First of all, the fact that Martin is unable to fully grasp what his crush is getting through is repeatedly emphasized. Thanks to this fact the man doesn't make the impression of being a person who knows everything, even if it's not true, as he has never experienced anything like that in his entire life, so it is obvious that he can't fully understand it. Even the advice he gives has nothing to do with moralizing, as it's born in his heart, and that's why it's simple but accurate and largely reflects the advice we would give being in similar situation. What's more, Martin is not presented as a saint of infinite patience, but an understanding and loving man who, despite some effort, adjusts himself to his partner even if he unconsciously makes mistakes resulting from his lack of knowledge about Ryan's experiences. He is a very human and believable character in how he takes and reacts to the problem of violence, and that deserves our attention.
Finally, let's also write a bit about one of the main problems that Martin is struggling with, the problem of money standing in the way of finding love. I think the author really did a great thing that she referred to this topic in "Why I Trust You". After all, having money doesn't make worries disappear and doesn't mean that a rich person has everything that he or she wants, as some things can't be bought. We all know about it, but rather a small percentage of people really think about this issue. On Martin's example, Colette Davison showed us how a relationship deprived of the emotional intimacy of two people gives way to greed, desire for luxury and materialism. On the other hand, she presented a situation in which money, which by assumption should help, in reality destroy, make establishing valuable relations difficult and isolate people. And finally, she also managed to clearly indicate how important in relationship are friendship, independence, self-sufficiency and being equal partners. In short, in this novel we really see that money isn't everything.
In summary, "Why I Trust You" is a truly moving novel about drama of toxic relationship, inner strength, courage to change one's life, building trust, finding love and facing adversities. Colette Davison once again deserves our recognition and many praises, as she presents the problems that her really wonderful characters are struggling with in a reliable, true and touching way. Believe me, this novel, as well as the whole "Why I…" series, is really worth reading.
Headcanon: From time to time, Martin simply gives Ryan some small gifts, such as flowers, chocolates, etc. without any occasion.
Fanfiction idea: Martin's great inspirations, or 50 ways to propose to Ryan.
AU idea: Fairy tale!AU Ryan is a prince locked in a tower by an evil sorcerer. He decides to take matters into his own hands and escape. On the way he gets into trouble from which he will be rescued by Prince Martin.
Here's some more about:
Buy Links - Available on Kindle Unlimited
Why I Left You
Why I Need You
Why I Trust You
Why I... Omnibus
Book Title: Why I Trust You
Author: Colette Davison
Series: Why I...
Heat Rating: 4 flames
Other "Why I..." Books:
Why I Left You
Why I Trust You
They are a loosely linked series, but can all be read as standalones.
**These stories contain mature language and scenes, including descriptions of sex, depression and domestic abuse**
Blurb
Martin is the larger than life funny guy, the one who’s quick to soothe other’s pain, whilst hiding his own. He wants nothing more than to find ‘the one’, but his love life consists of a string of break-ups. He’s close to giving up on love, until he meets Ryan online, the artist whose work speaks to his soul. There are just two problems: Ryan already has a boyfriend and he lives in California, which is one hell of a long way from England.
Working with Martin to develop a game is supposed to be purely business; a way for Ryan to earn the money to leave his abusive boyfriend. Except, he finds himself falling for the enigmatic Englishman. Wondering what kind of spark there might be if they were in the same country is one thing, escaping his boyfriend is another.
Wounded by their past relationships, Martin and Ryan have to learn to trust each other in order to have a chance at building a future together.
Working with Martin to develop a game is supposed to be purely business; a way for Ryan to earn the money to leave his abusive boyfriend. Except, he finds himself falling for the enigmatic Englishman. Wondering what kind of spark there might be if they were in the same country is one thing, escaping his boyfriend is another.
Wounded by their past relationships, Martin and Ryan have to learn to trust each other in order to have a chance at building a future together.
Buy Links - Available on Kindle Unlimited
Why I Left You
Why I Need You
Why I Trust You
Why I... Omnibus
Excerpt
As Martin spoke, Ryan drew as quickly as he could. He wasn't aiming for anything of beauty, just the gist contained in a series of incredibly rough sketches. It was impossible not to get caught up in Martin's vision. The childlike excitement in Martin's voice encouraged Ryan to smile as he drew, visually realising the story that was beginning to unfold in Martin's rambling and often chaotically organised sentences.
"And that's it," Martin said. "I talked too fast, didn't I? You should have stopped me."
The truth was, Ryan had loved listening to Martin's deep, smooth voice. He'd loved being able to switch off from everything else to focus on nothing but Martin's words and the sketchpad and pencil. He used his phone to snap a few photos of his rough sketches and emailed them straight to Martin.
"I sent you a present," he said. "And, no, you didn't talk too fast."
"Got it," Martin said. "Holy shit. You drew these while I was talking?"
"Yeah, they're kind of rough."
They were more impressions than clear drawings. Bold lines used to create the suggestion of vast detail. But despite that, Ryan was confident that the content of each sketch was clear.
"I'll obviously need to translate all these ideas into digital format and pick a style that'll work across platforms without pixelating on larger devices or looking too visually cluttered on smaller screens. I'll work on some solid graphics ideas over the next few days."
"These are amazing," Martin breathed. "I just… wow."
Ryan felt a warmth surge through his chest. It felt so good to be really, truly appreciated by someone. The fact that it was a guy he'd never met and who lived several thousand miles away only made it hit home how truly miserable he'd become. But that awareness didn't stop the guilt from seeping into every fibre of his being. He was sneaking around behind Zane's back, talking to another guy. A guy whose voice he liked. A guy who made him feel appreciated. If Zane found out, he'd flip out and accuse Ryan of cheating. He gripped his pencil tightly, to the point of almost snapping it in half.
"I'd better go," he said, his voice suddenly weary. "I've got work in a few hours, so I'd better get some sleep." Not that he was convinced he would be able to sleep, as his thoughts were so mixed up about the way Martin made him feel.
"Yeah. Sorry I kept you up."
"No problem. It's been fun." It really had been. That was the thought Ryan wanted to take away with him, rather than the guilt, but he knew the guilt would win.
About the Author
Colette’s personal love story began at university, where she met her future husband. An evening of flirting eventually led to a fairytale wedding. She lives in the north of England with her husband, two beautiful children, a crazy dog and a lazy cat.
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