Series: Why I...
Volume: 1/3Publisher: Self-Published
Genre/s: Contemporary gay romance
Length: -
Read in: English
Review copy format: epub
Rate:✮✮✮✮✮✰
Brett's life is a simple routine that doesn't require any special involvement – he goes to his not so ambitious but well-paid job, sometimes works some extra hours in a coffee shop, then returns to a flat he rents with a friend and goes to a club to satisfy his sexual needs. The only thing that changes constantly is the guys with whom he sleeps. However, the routine of his everyday life is disturbed when Brett unexpectedly meets a boy who broke his heart four years ago. Although the young man doesn't want to admit it, anger and feeling of betrayal are not the only emotions that accompany this encounter and everything that follows it.
Jamie's world slowly begins to crumble to pieces. He wanted to prove to himself and his parents that he can take care of himself, that he is able to get back on his feet after everything that has happened in his life over the years, but the problems he struggles with are growing more and more serious every day. Studies, money, overprotective parents, relentless guilt, recurrent depression – everything conspires against him. To make matters worse, an unexpected meeting with his ex-boyfriend turns out to be the key that opens wide the door to the painful, demon-filled past.
Jamie's world slowly begins to crumble to pieces. He wanted to prove to himself and his parents that he can take care of himself, that he is able to get back on his feet after everything that has happened in his life over the years, but the problems he struggles with are growing more and more serious every day. Studies, money, overprotective parents, relentless guilt, recurrent depression – everything conspires against him. To make matters worse, an unexpected meeting with his ex-boyfriend turns out to be the key that opens wide the door to the painful, demon-filled past.
As undoubtedly the biggest advantage of "Why I Left You", I consider the fact that it touches the subject of depression, which for me is extremely important as it is a very personal matter. I like that Colette Davison not only mentions this problem but she seriously builds her story around it. Thus, she doesn't make this problem a simple supplement or a small episode, but the essence of her novel, the biggest opponent in the battle for the future that the protagonists are forced to fight. This is undoubtedly worth appreciating, because if our lives were a game, for some of us depression would be the final boss who has the ability to regenerate. What's more, I really like the fact that the author presented the problem of depression in a very true and realistic way, showing it as a cage. Closed inside, we see the world through bars that distort the image of reality, and when trying to escape, we continually rebound from them, until we lose our strength and plunge into hopelessness. Colette Davison also didn't forget about the "distorting mirror", in which people trapped in a cage of depression look at themselves every day. And finally, which is equally important, she showed that we are not able to get out of it without the help of an outsider who will open the door for us and help us through it. So "Why I Left You" is a novel in which the problem of depression was presented in a way really close to reality which makes it worth our attention.
But what is equally important, Colette Davison doesn't focus solely on the pernicious effects of depression, but also shows how to fight it. She presents the importance of things considered by most as simple and trivial, such as routine, search for positive elements in everyday life and conversation. At the same time, however, she emphasizes the need for medical support and therapy, and, if necessary, medications. At this point, it should be mentioned that the author also in this respect sticks to the more realistic picture of the situation, as she emphasizes the fact that medications are not a magic remedy that starts working immediately and eliminates the problems. They have their unpleasant side effects and need time to start working, but most importantly, they won't hide us from the necessity to face our problems. Finally, the author also shows that friends and relatives, their support, help, understanding and acceptance also play a really important role in the treatment of depression. In short, "Why I Left You" tells us what kind of weapons we should use to fight with depression and what steps to take, even if it is not easy or seems impossible.
However, "Why I Left You" is not only about the depression Jamie is struggling with, but also about Brett being a marionette in the hands of love. On the one hand, referring to Brett's past, the author shows that love not only builds, but also destroys. The boy who was happy, had dreams and looked forward to the future, because of love closed himself off, abandoned his plans and ran away from any love commitments. On the other hand, the reader can see how Brett, as a young man, who seemingly looks only for good fun and sexual adventures, involuntarily surrenders to the overwhelming power of this feeling. As a consequence, he struggles with everything the love brings, ups and downs, joys and sorrows. So we watch his fight with the everyday life of a person in love. In short, in his case love seems to be like a fairy, who tempts a man with her music, and if one gave in and started dancing to her melody, one would not be able to stop or even take a break.
At the end, I want to write a bit about the book itself and the way it was constructed. I think that it is worth noting that reading "Why I Left You" is sort of like moving in the dark. We more or less know what to expect and we can guess some facts, but to a large extent we can't rely on anything certain, just like the characters. We look at the events taking place in the novel from the perspective of both Brett and Jamie, and we have an insight into their psyche, which puts us in a situation better than the one they are in, but just like them we have to put together the whole picture piece by piece. It seems to me that from time to time it allows us to better understand their way of thinking, as well as gives us the opportunity to feel their frustration caused by lack of understanding and awareness. I admit that while it can sometimes get on our nerves, it also makes us read this novel with more interest and commitment.
In summary, "Why I Left You" is a really wonderful novel about love, filled with demons of the past, which with full understanding touches the very difficult problem of depression. It is a story about a constant battle for every breath with a darkness embedded in a man, and the need to talk, open up to people and find the courage to ask for help. This is certainly a novel one hundred percent worth recommending.
Headcanon: Every time Brett and Jamie have some relationship problems, Brett forces his boyfriend to talk, even if in consequence they both will be sleepy in the morning.
Fanfiction idea: Brett and Jamie spend their summer holidays traveling around the country.
AU idea: Modern fairy tale!AU, Jamie is a prince on whom an evil sorcerer casts a spell that turns him into a frog. Only a kiss of true love can break the spell. Jamie doesn't believe he'll ever get back to his true form so he jumps in front of a moving car. However, Brett, a confectioner who is passing by saves him. And that's how the story of true love begins.
Here's some more about:
Buy Links - Available on Kindle Unlimited
Why I Left You
Why I Need You
Why I Trust You
Why I... Omnibus
Book Title: Why I Left You
Author: Colette Davison
Series: Why I...
Heat Rating: 4 flames
Other "Why I..." Books:
Why I Need You
Why I Trust You
They are a loosely linked series, but can all be read as standalones.
**These stories contain mature language and scenes, including descriptions of sex, depression and domestic abuse**
Blurb
Jamie is struggling with university, money and depression. The last thing he needs is for Brett—the guy who left him four years ago—to walk back into his life. Yet it could be just what he needs.
Ever since Jamie left him, Brett has been running away from commitment. But when he meets Jamie again, he’s forced to re-examine every aspect of his life.
Brett and Jamie are drawn back together by an undeniable spark, but unless they can come to terms with the past, their relationship won’t survive the present.
Ever since Jamie left him, Brett has been running away from commitment. But when he meets Jamie again, he’s forced to re-examine every aspect of his life.
Brett and Jamie are drawn back together by an undeniable spark, but unless they can come to terms with the past, their relationship won’t survive the present.
Buy Links - Available on Kindle Unlimited
Why I Left You
Why I Need You
Why I Trust You
Why I... Omnibus
Excerpt
“You’d get drunk faster on spirits,” Brett said, wandering up to him.
Jamie glowered at him and then fixed his gaze on the dance floor. “Thanks for the tip, but I’m good.” He sipped more slowly at the new pint.
Brett didn’t move. “I didn’t think you were into guys anymore.” The question sounded casual, but his body was full of tension as he leaned against the wall beside Jamie.
“What the fuck would you know about it?” Jamie tipped his head back against the wall, closed his eyes and breathed in and out. Just Breathe. “Sorry. I don’t want to fight with you, not tonight.” He pushed his hair back and took a good-sized gulp of his beer. “I just want to hang out and relax. If you’re not gonna help me do that, would you please get lost?”
Brett’s eyes widened. “Help you? How would I be able to help you?”
Jamie shook his head. “Forget it.”
Except he couldn’t get the thought of kissing Brett out of his head, which was totally fucked up. He decided it was the drink talking, stirring up long-forgotten feelings. He glanced at Brett and knew instantly he shouldn’t have done. Brett’s blue eyes seemed more intense under the ultraviolet lighting, almost supernaturally so. They bored into him, trying to understand what he’d just said. And damn if that gaze didn’t make his legs weak and his stomach flip over, the way it always had done when they were younger.
He knocked back the rest of his beer and then put the plastic cup down on the floor beside his feet. He straightened up too fast and swayed. Brett reached out and grabbed him by the shoulders to steady him.
“On second thoughts, I guess you’re already well on the way to being plastered,” Brett said.
Before he had time to regret even thinking about it, Jamie did something stupid. He stepped in to Brett and kissed him.
About the Author
Colette’s personal love story began at university, where she met her future husband. An evening of flirting eventually led to a fairytale wedding. She lives in the north of England with her husband, two beautiful children, a crazy dog and a lazy cat.
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