Series: #lovehim
Volume: 4/?Publisher: May Books
Genre/s: Contemporary M/M Romance
Length: 85 000
Read in: English
Review copy format: epub
Rate:✮✮✮✮✮✮
By giving up vlogging, Digi stirred a lot of controversy and became the main topic of many conversations. After a year, he becomes the center of attention once again, when without his knowledge his mother posts on her blog a photo of him and his boyfriend sleeping together, which causes a whole lot of problems. To get away from them, even if just for a while, Digi decides to go to Webcon with his mum, and again he becomes the most popular gossiping topic.
At the same time, Gram Saito still licks his wounds after Digi quit the world of vlogging, and tires to get used to the changes in his career after getting involved in "All Hearts" project. When it turns out that his former vlog rival and crush decides to renew their friendship, Gram's world turns upside down. The feelings that he wanted to get rid of revive with even greater strength, and if the love dramas were not enough, Webcon guests become victims of hacker attacks that reveal their secrets to the world.
At the same time, Gram Saito still licks his wounds after Digi quit the world of vlogging, and tires to get used to the changes in his career after getting involved in "All Hearts" project. When it turns out that his former vlog rival and crush decides to renew their friendship, Gram's world turns upside down. The feelings that he wanted to get rid of revive with even greater strength, and if the love dramas were not enough, Webcon guests become victims of hacker attacks that reveal their secrets to the world.
I think that the biggest advantage of "Not Gonna Lie" is the fact that the novel puts a lot of emphasis on the topic of honesty. I admit that on the one hand it refers to the subject of blogging/vlogging, but it's not that aspect of it that seems to be the most crucial, as in this case honesty is a rather relative term and looks more like an ethical problem. Applying the subject of honesty to each individual person is much more important, as that is how it takes the form of problems such as being oneself, being true to one's beliefs and longings. It is equally important that we can see the importance of this kind of honesty on the example of two main characters – Digi, who quit vlogging in order to be himself and slowly manages to achieve his goal, and Gram, who has too much on his plate, so he loses his way, starts to lie to himself, and has to find his way in life once again. Thus, "Not Gonna Lie" shows the readers that no matter who they are, only by being honest with themselves they can find joy and satisfaction in life, and this is undoubtedly an essential message of this book.
Not less important is the fact that this novel belongs to a group that I would call "on the other side of the mirror", because it shows us the life of bloggers and vloggers from this other side, which is often quite different than it might seem. In this way, on the one hand, "Not Gonna Lie" advises readers to be careful when trusting someone and be reasonable, because there is no doubt that in some cases what our idols show us and what they want us to believe in is far from true, and has nothing to do with their lives or convictions. On the other hand, the book points out that the blogger/vlogger's life is not always easy, because they also have to deal with their own problems, hacker attacks, competition, popularity, fans who are not always forgiving. However, we can't forget that "on the other side of the mirror" there's also room for friendship, love and joy.
I think it is also worth noting that into this really exciting story presented in "Not Gonna Lie", S.M. James weaves the theme of a dangerous side of "live for likes" culture. First of all, it's a vicious circle of a constant need to be on top, to win over fans' love, to follow popular trends, because of which one can lose oneself, their autonomy and uniqueness. Another problem associated with this culture is hate on the Internet, which undoubtedly has a lot to do with a lack of empathy, as well as with some mental limitation, because how else can you describe a lack of awareness that words hurt and destroy more often than the physically inflicted wounds? And finally, the novel also raises the problem of putting idols on a pedestal, which makes us forget that we are dealing with people who are just like us, who have their limitations, problems, who are not invincible. All this undoubtedly gives us food for thought and makes the novel all the more valuable.
Finally, I would like to refer to the romantic theme, which in "Not Gonna Lie" is presented in a really delightful, but moving way. On the one hand, we have here a struggle with romantic feelings, an attempt to get rid of them, ignore them, and on the other, there is a fierce battle for the same feelings. S.M. James shows us that this love or affection is full of ups and downs. What's more, because of these feelings, our characters fight not only with themselves, but also with the outside world. Thus, the way in which Digi and Gram's crush is presented resembles a tango which is full of energy and has fast pace. Thanks to all this the reader fully engages in the romantic side of this novel and observes the love roller coaster with great interest.
In conclusion, "Not Gonna Lie" is a really great continuation of "To Be Continued", as well as a wonderful novel itself. We can find here a mystery, a drama, some love dilemmas, serious topics, funny situations, and many different emotions. It's one of the books you can't put away before you finish reading it, so I highly recommend it. This novel is really worth your time!
Headcanon: Digi decides to study in England and live with Gram.
Fanfiction idea: Digi and Gram are the official couple, so their moms are having a conversation about sex with them, which is not only embarrassing, but also totally bizarre.
AU idea: Gram is a young, brilliant actor. One day, when when he needs to hide from his fans, he comes across Digi, who helps him and hides him in his animal clinic. Although they think that they will never meet again, it turns out that when a few days later the dog has an accident on the set, the animal's caretakers call the veterinarian, Digi.
MOODNOARD IN PROGRESS
Here's some more about:
Book Title: Not Gonna Lie
Author: S.M. James
Cover Artist: Story Styling Cover Designs
Trope/s: Enemies to lovers
Themes: Online bullying culture, eating disorder, anxiety
Heat Rating: 1 flame
Release Date: May 16, 2019
Not Gonna Lie is a standalone story within the #lovehim series.
There’s also the novella prequel (To Be Continued, book 6).
It will show you where it all began for Gram and Digi.
Blurb
Everyone has their secrets.
Last year Digi walked out on Webcon, on his fans, and on Gram.
Now he’s back determined to give what they had a real shot, but Gram is more prickly than ever, not willing to risk his heart again.
Despite trying to stay out of the spotlight, the anonymous Public Service Announcements draw Digi back in. As the secrets of the internet’s top celebrities are leaked to the world, it’s only a matter of time before Digi and Gram are next.
To get through it, they have to set their rivalry aside.
Will Digi handle the pressure of the bright lights long enough to find who is tearing their world apart? Or will the threat of full exposure be too much for him to handle?
Last year Digi walked out on Webcon, on his fans, and on Gram.
Now he’s back determined to give what they had a real shot, but Gram is more prickly than ever, not willing to risk his heart again.
Despite trying to stay out of the spotlight, the anonymous Public Service Announcements draw Digi back in. As the secrets of the internet’s top celebrities are leaked to the world, it’s only a matter of time before Digi and Gram are next.
To get through it, they have to set their rivalry aside.
Will Digi handle the pressure of the bright lights long enough to find who is tearing their world apart? Or will the threat of full exposure be too much for him to handle?
Excerpt
Gram tosses his cell phone onto the bed between us. Playing along, I grab his phone and check the screen, and the selfie we took last night stares back at me. I smile, we both look relaxed and totally comfortable, even though my hand on his thigh had me buzzed in that exact moment.
I set my mug down and toss the phone back to Gram before rolling onto my side. “Reminds me of when we used to vlog together.”
He stares at the photo for a minute. “Yeah. It does. Did you see the comments?”
“Nope.”
“Turns out, people are still insanely curious about where you’ve been for the last year.”
“Eh. Why?”
“Because you disappeared, Digi. You were one of the biggest vloggers and then you were gone. All those comments are asking about you. So … let’s collab.”
“What?”
“Well we’re friends, aren’t we? I haven’t lined up any guest vloggers yet, and if you do this with me, I won’t have to.”
“Yeah, no. I’m not doing that anymore.”
“I’m not saying you have to go back to it, but this will give you a chance to tell your piece, then everyone will stop speculating and you can go back to whatever the bloody hell you’ve been doing.”
I scrunch up my face, not real interested in the idea. “I dunno, Gram. I like being able to come here and not be hassled. If I do that, I’m opening the door on everyone thinking they can stick their noses back into my life.”
He sighs. “I can’t say I don’t understand. And it isyour choice though.” Gram watches me, completely unguarded for a change. There’s no tension in his face, and it’s the way I like him best.
“Hey, remember that time we snuck off while our mom’s were on a panel, and went to that dolphin place?”
“Oh yeah …” His gaze goes unfocused and I know he’s remembering that day. “Yeah, that was amazing.”
It was. We’d spent the whole day there, participating in the training sessions and swimming around. Gram hadn’t started dying his hair at that point, and I can still picture the way he kept pushing his black bangs back off his face.
His gaze flicks to me and away again. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
I blink, noting how wide my smile stretches. “I just felt real close to you that day.”
“Probably because you kept hugging me.”
“I think that’s when we first really became friends.”
“When I first realized I’d never be rid of you.” He pretends to cringe, but doesn’t do enough to cover the affectionate tone.
“When I first realized I never wantedto be rid of you,” I counter, knowing he won’t expect it.
He sighs. “You just say whatever is on your mind, don’t you?”
“Sometimes. Unlike you. You neversay what’s on your mind.”
“I do when it’s important.”
“So tell me what you’re thinking now.”
“Well that’s easy, I’m thinking I’m going to be late.”
The smile drops from my face as I glance at the time. “You don’t have to go yet.”
“You know my schedule, do you?”
“I just … I mean, you can hang out for a bit longer if you wanna. We can order breakfast up here. You won’t have to worry about fans interrupting that way.” I’m just throwing out words at this point, but his schedule doesn’t start for another two hours and he’s clearly ready. There’s no reason he hasto race off, right?
“I thought you were tired,” he says.
“Not anymore.”
He’s frowning at the bed and it takes him a bit to answer, like he’s trying to come up with an excuse to go. “I told my mother I’d eat with her …”
“You get to see her any old time. We’re only here for twomore days, Gram. Would you really deny me your company?”
He laughs despite clearly trying to hold it back, and shoves my shoulder. “Okay, fine. Just stop.”
“Stop what?”
“Being so needy.”
I shrug, sitting up so I’m facing him. “What can I say? I like attention.”
“Tch. No you don’t.”
“I like yourattention.”
Gram frowns, wide mouth falling into a pout. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were flirting with me, Digi Lynch.”
I blink, eyebrows pulling up. Flirting with him? Am I? I replay my words over, and actually, I think I might be. Huh. “Would that be a bad thing?”
“It would be a strangething.” He’s still looking at me odd, so I leave him to be confused and pick up the room phone to order our breakfast.
Gram settles back against the pillows, long legs stretched over the bed and crossed at the ankles. He’s not too much shorter than I am, but he seems smaller. Maybe it’s the over excitable personality he puts on for his vlogs, or the way his delicate face scrunches when he’s trying to be mean. I could scoop him up easily, like I did when we took that photo, and I’m hit with the impulse to do it again.
I grin as I imagine how surprised he’d be if I just grabbed him and pulled him close. I dunno want I’d do when I got him there—hug him for sure, but maybe … maybe he’d let me kiss him again?
“I’m sorry for shaving your eyebrows off,” he says suddenly, glancing over at me.
“Gram that was two years ago.”
“But I didn’t apologize.”
“You didn’t, but like I care now.”
“They’ve never grown back properly though, have they?”
I rub a hand over my eyebrows. “They’re a bit of a mess.”
“They make you look permanently bewildered.”
I laugh, lying on my side so I’m facing him. “To be fair, I feel like I don’t know much of what’s going on anyway.”
“You areadorably vague.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
Gram screws his mouth up to the side, but his eyes light up, and it’s all I need to know that he’s definitely flirting with me too.
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